I've asked myself this question many times. And to be painfully honest, I've never been satisfied with my answers. I've wanted to do great things since like- well, let's just say even I can't remember how long. "Then why haven't you?"... is this the thought running through your mind? Mine, too. Well, I'll answer- but the reasons I'm going to give are simply qualified as excuses, and nothing more: No confidence. Fear. People... ... ... I know. Sad. Yet, what saddens me all the more, is that I'm not the only one dealing with these same setbacks. No sir, no ma'am. Is it possible that even the few that may read this blog face these same obstacles? These same silly obstacles? Why do we let these things hold us back from doing what we love... What we were put on this earth to do?? I'm not saying I was placed here by God to write this blog. I'm not saying that every little thing I enjoy doing is God's purpose for my life. BUT, I will say- that each one of those things- give my life purpose.
I believe that the only way to live a successful life- a happy one- is to do what you love- for the glory of God, the benefit of others, and the peace and satisfaction of your own life. Why would I let someone else determine for me what those things might be? I love people. I thorougly enjoy writing. I have a passion for letting my talents, no matter how big or small, be used to accomplish great things in this life. So- why not start a blog? Why not prepare to write a book? Why let it bother me that people I've looked up to and friends I was close to's non-interest keep me from pursuing my dreams? WHY?
To enlighten you on why I said what I did- there was a time in the not-to-distant past, that I had attempted in beginning one of my hearts desires- a children's book. This was such a beginning, that this "book" was only 2 typed computer pages- DOUBLE SPACED. :) I had given it to a friend that I had the UTMOST confidence in... and also because I had just spent 2 weeks of my time literally pouring my heart into something for a dream in her heart... while working a full-time job. I was waiting for some kind of encouragement or critique. I wanted to know that someone had an interest in showing me support for something I longed for. After 6 months, I inquired. My response given: "I'm so sorry. I just haven't had time yet." That was completely fine. Even then I tried to understand. She's busy. She's got soooo much on her plate. It's okay. But, after a year, when I went to ask for it back, it was nowhere to be found. She didn't know what she had done with it... She couldn't even remember if she had moved it from the place I first laid it. I was so hurt. So disappointed. Not angry at her, but at the fact that what I did must not have been good enough. What I enjoyed must not be the right thing, since she had shown no interest. I didn't write anything for 2 years after that. I didn't feel like my writing talent was ever going to get anywhere.
Looking back now, I see how foolish of me that was. It was just one person. There's a whole world out there of resources and supporters that I've yet to meet. But, even more importantly than that- God is on my side. He supports me. The Bible even says, "Delight thyself also in the Lord, and He will give thee the desires of thine heart." Psalm 37:4 It took me a little while to learn that in order to get the "desires of my heart," I had to learn to "delight myself in the Lord."
This is when my miraculous turn-around took place. I learned how to do that. The last two blog entries were just the summary of my life today. It's time, now, to share with you how I got here.
I decided that eating the leftovers on other people's plates... was no longer good enough for me. It was time to open my own ME.N.U and partake in what the Lord had offered for my life.
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