A Brand New Recipe

So, I've been blank all year... and the one day I decide to pick up the laptop and just write away anyway... I see that it's been 1 year to the day that I've made an entry. Ironic? Coincidence? Absolutely meaningless?  Who knows.  But, in just 1 years time, so VERY much has changed in my life.

I no longer live in Illinois.  Aaron and I moved back to my homeland... Kentucky... in Louisville.  How did we get here?? Why did we come here??  Sometimes I ask myself those same questions.  And I only have one answer. God led us here.

This move was an extremely difficult one to make... on many different levels.  We had grown accustomed to Illinois. After all, we'd lived there for three years. We had some great times and plenty of not-so-great times. We made amazing friends... and some friends disappeared. We took some college courses, made some tough, but definitely right, decisions, matured, had time to figure out who we were and what we wanted. We were privileged to lead a student ministry group of 30+ teens. We got great experience from job opportunities. We got a fresh new start. Only now do I see how truly fresh that start was.

We started feeling like we would probably be relocating within the year back in January 2012. Honestly, the furthest I thought we'd go was St. Louis... only about 45 miles. That was my dream. When we were asked to head up the youth ministry at Faith Assembly, we weren't sure if we should take it, because of the little inkling we had about moving away. But, when we explained that and they still asked us to dedicate just one year to helping the ministry grow, we felt like that was a good plan. Once we got involved in that, we didn't want to leave. Everything was going greater than ever before... Why would we want to give that up now?  Back in February 2013 someone approached and told us that they believed within three months we would be back in Louisville.  I couldn't help but just smile and nod. I didn't believe it to be possible or accurate for one millisecond. Looking back now, I almost feel like Sarah in the Bible, laughing over the prophecy that she would have a child in her old age. Why? Because within less than two weeks of my "laughter," our landlord approached us with apologies. "I'm just in too much debt with my house... I'm going to have to sell my rental properties."  Ummm... Hello. Would you be worried sick?  Normally, I would have been. But one great thing that happened in Illinois for me, was being able to get away and realize that not all opinions about what happens in my life are acceptable and worth fretting over. There are some things in life that happen way beyond our control, and people that are too quick to get an idea of why or what you must have done to make that happen, a lot of times are completely off track. That seemed to happen to us a lot in our first few years of marriage, and I had to pray through some MAJOR complexes and hindrances because of that. That's what makes this time in my life a great victory. I've finally realized that GOD LEADS ME. He opens doors. He shuts them. I know that sometimes people can make decisions that cause things to happen... but I also know when one's heart is truly toward the Lord and His will, He keeps His promises and takes care of that one. So, I don't have to worry. This is God's doing... and all I need to do is trust.  After much prayer, we started seeing God do some awesome things to prepare for the move. Everything was taken care of... not just barely... with much ease. Financial miracles took place. Minds that needed to be changed were. One by one, "crazy" things started happening... and we knew it had to be the hand of God making our path plain.

I think the sense of not fully belonging anywhere just yet is the most difficult.  You know, having to start all over.  New home, new jobs, new friends, new church, etc... Even though my family is here (and we love it) we still missed three years of each other's lives... so there's even a twinge of something odd there. I know that within just a little bit, everything will start fitting together perfectly and all will be grand! After all, there's been some humbling and amazing opportunities for us already... and for once, we've been able to fully reach out and accept them without any reserve. Knowing that I'll always belong in the arms of the Lord... that's all the belonging I need. Of course, having such an amazing and supportive husband there with you in every new venture is pretty sweet, too!

A few people have asked what brought us back... and they automatically bring up the hurts, frustrations, and disappointments. Believe me, we remember those things from time to time, but we don't let them dictate our lives. It's not worth it at all to dwell on those things! The joy that Jesus brings can surpass them any day of the week! Plus, I know that we learned so much from those times, and it's made us happier, better, and more thoughtful of others' feelings. "What the devil planned for evil, God turned into good." Others have talked about the glories of the big city opportunities. Yes, those are a great incentive, for sure. But really, I'm just curious and excitedly awaiting what God is going to "cook up" for us in this chapter of our lives. After all, it is a brand new recipe this time around. Maybe God had a work for us to do here the whole time, had to move us to prepare us, and is bringing us back to get it done. 

I look back over my life, and even though I'm only almost 25... I've already had quite the fun and adventure.  We've moved a couple times... lived out of state... took a mission trip to Mexico... got to know and help some amazingly talented teens... sat under some wonderful pastors... made friends all over the country and even a few outside of it... got contacted by a music producer to start recording our ORIGINAL songs... helped my brother prepare to get out on his own... got to be there for my sister... The list could go on.  I'm grateful for that.  It's a little stressful right now, starting all over again... but every time God's led us to a different door, it's always been better than the one before. I'm believing the same for this one. When I write the next time, I can't wait to give detail of what these new ingredients have added to our lives.  If I didn't have the experience with Christ, all this hope and eagerness wouldn't be possible.  I'm grateful that in spite of everything that changes in my life, He remains the same.

Just like in every meal preparation, in life you get a little shook up, mixed up, and probably even heated up. There may be a few new and seemingly random ingredients sitting somewhere close by, but when the One preparing the dish has mastered the recipe, you can guarantee that it'll come out amazing.

Some don't like change... Some thrive on it. Others, like me, accept it. Maybe that's why God's led us out of the box we were in, and now has something incredible in the making. I can't wait to see it... and I can't wait to share it!