Humble Pie

Has anyone ever heard the saying, "They need to eat some humble pie?" In Kentucky, where I'm proudly from, it's an old one. As easy as it is to point out someone else's need for humility, noticing your own need for a piece, comes a little harder. 

When referring to pride, I know the first thing that usually pops into our brains is arrogance, hatefulness, and "I'm better than you-ness."  In this case, I'm talking about the pride in which it kills you to leave your comfort zone because of your fear of failure. I mean the pride that keeps you from stepping out and doing exactly what God wants for your life, because you're unsure of the response you'll get from everyone else around you.  That's the pride I'm thinking of... and that's the pride I had.

I never noticed it before a month or so ago.  Honestly.  Up to that point I had always masked it as just trying to be smart or weighing my options.  If that didn't fit the scenario, I then pulled my hurt or lack of self confidence out of the bag, and tried to throw that around.  I think the Lord was getting tired of it. Actually, I have no doubts.

I was home from work doing my thing... cleaning, laundry, figuring out what to make for dinner...  and I felt this overwhelming sense of discontent.  Not an unthankful sort, but an "I'm really missing out on something" kind.  I knelt down to pray almost instantly.  I asked God to please lead us and guide us.  Give us favor.  Use us however He needed to bring glory to His name. I read Scriptures about Abraham "going... without knowing whither he went..."  I heard songs about God leading a frightened, stuttering Moses back to Egypt to deliver His people.  I felt that God was about to make some major changes in my life...  and I got scared?  No.  Prideful.  But God, I don't know if I could handle this.  I don't know what others will think.  What if it doesn't bring about some magnificent thing and people think we're just young and dumb?  What if we get no support?  When will it work out?  How will it work out?  I asked a ton of questions that didn't deserve an answer.  And God, being God, knew that... and He offered none.

About a week or so later, a missionary came to our church.  I love and respect missionaries beyond words.  Major sacrifices, for the cause of Christ...  that's commendable and admirable.  But, I was really needing God to speak to me... and knowing that the service was probably going to be about the work going on in another country... I didn't think it was going to happen.  (Again, notice the pride...  I thought God had to do it a certain way...  Wow.)  Yet, when this man began to speak, I knew it was going to be different than I had come expecting.

The message was regarding the Apostle Paul.  A brief foundation was given about the amazing conversion of Saul- to Paul,  the obstacles he faced, and the lives he won for Jesus.  Towards the middle of the sermon, the objective changed.  He started focusing on Paul and the time he felt compelled to go to Rome. He stressed how different ones were telling him not to go because he would surely be killed.  And in one portion of Scripture it points out that the Holy Ghost even spoke to him to let him know he would be put in jail if he went.  Yet Paul knew in His heart Rome is where God wanted him.  

The missionary made a comment that He could just picture Paul sitting in prison writing that letter to Timothy, while others back in other lands were talking about how Paul "just missed it."  Saying things like, "If he would've just stayed here...  If he would have just not gone to Rome... If he would have just done what we all thought, he'd be doing so much for God, and instead, he's stuck in some jail... doing nothing."  At that moment, I saw Paul as a human.  Not just as THE Apostle Paul who wrote most of the New Testament... but Paul, the man.  I realized right there in service that Paul had to eat some humble pie.  He was willing to do what God wanted him to do, despite everyone's comments of defeat.  He went to Rome to bring glory to the Most High, ended up in prison, and even wrote about people not visiting him there.  He talked about being cold and lonely, and he asked Timothy to bring him his coat... before winter.  Those, seemingly minor, details spoke wonders to me.  He felt the same pain, the same confusion, even the same coldness we do.  And he was willing to suffer it! Thank God, Paul gave his all.  If Paul hadn't been placed in jail, a guard would not have been saved and we wouldn't have all the soul piercing letters he wrote to the churches of his time.  I opened my Bible and noticed all the highlighted areas throughout Ephesians and Philippians, and 1st and 2nd Timothy.  All those verses had either helped encourage or convict my heart at some point in my life.  Although we see the reason for Paul's inprisonment now, back in his day, people lost respect for him, because in their eyes, He was doing nothing.

God spoke to me.  Never doubting His love, I felt His chastisement as well.  I had to let go of the pride of what others might think of us, if we follow God into a place they don't understand.  I had to quit saying no because of the fear of failure and disappointment.  I had to leave my comfort zone; surrender my all.

What's crazy awesome, is that as soon as I was willing to do that- God began to show me things.  We had doors open that same week, that we would have never dreamed of.  Seriously.  It's like they came from out of nowhere.  We got calls from people that we respected immensely, and yet never really got close to... and they called us because "they had been thinking about us."  After talking with them we were stunned to learn that they had went through almost, to the T, the exact same thing we were being dealt with about.  They encouraged us so much by sharing with us a verse that God had given them a year ago from the book of Psalms.  "Thou hast led me in a plain path."  The prayer of our hearts.  Someone else was where we are, God led them, and He would lead us.

Within a week's time, four people we have highly looked up to called us to give us words of encouragement... having no clue what it was we were even praying about.  God's confirmation is so surreal.  And it's so sweet.  I am so excited to see what God does with us in 2012.  Although the unknown is always a little scary, I won't be holding on to pride anymore.  I hope, if anything,  I could encourage someone out there to let go and let God.  Don't miss out on your time to make a difference, according to His will, because of things that don't matter.  It's just not worth it. Realize it's pride... it's sin... and it's causing you to miss out on God's greatness.  I had to eat a piece of that humble pie, and much to my surprise, it wasn't that bad.