Humble Pie

Has anyone ever heard the saying, "They need to eat some humble pie?" In Kentucky, where I'm proudly from, it's an old one. As easy as it is to point out someone else's need for humility, noticing your own need for a piece, comes a little harder. 

When referring to pride, I know the first thing that usually pops into our brains is arrogance, hatefulness, and "I'm better than you-ness."  In this case, I'm talking about the pride in which it kills you to leave your comfort zone because of your fear of failure. I mean the pride that keeps you from stepping out and doing exactly what God wants for your life, because you're unsure of the response you'll get from everyone else around you.  That's the pride I'm thinking of... and that's the pride I had.

I never noticed it before a month or so ago.  Honestly.  Up to that point I had always masked it as just trying to be smart or weighing my options.  If that didn't fit the scenario, I then pulled my hurt or lack of self confidence out of the bag, and tried to throw that around.  I think the Lord was getting tired of it. Actually, I have no doubts.

I was home from work doing my thing... cleaning, laundry, figuring out what to make for dinner...  and I felt this overwhelming sense of discontent.  Not an unthankful sort, but an "I'm really missing out on something" kind.  I knelt down to pray almost instantly.  I asked God to please lead us and guide us.  Give us favor.  Use us however He needed to bring glory to His name. I read Scriptures about Abraham "going... without knowing whither he went..."  I heard songs about God leading a frightened, stuttering Moses back to Egypt to deliver His people.  I felt that God was about to make some major changes in my life...  and I got scared?  No.  Prideful.  But God, I don't know if I could handle this.  I don't know what others will think.  What if it doesn't bring about some magnificent thing and people think we're just young and dumb?  What if we get no support?  When will it work out?  How will it work out?  I asked a ton of questions that didn't deserve an answer.  And God, being God, knew that... and He offered none.

About a week or so later, a missionary came to our church.  I love and respect missionaries beyond words.  Major sacrifices, for the cause of Christ...  that's commendable and admirable.  But, I was really needing God to speak to me... and knowing that the service was probably going to be about the work going on in another country... I didn't think it was going to happen.  (Again, notice the pride...  I thought God had to do it a certain way...  Wow.)  Yet, when this man began to speak, I knew it was going to be different than I had come expecting.

The message was regarding the Apostle Paul.  A brief foundation was given about the amazing conversion of Saul- to Paul,  the obstacles he faced, and the lives he won for Jesus.  Towards the middle of the sermon, the objective changed.  He started focusing on Paul and the time he felt compelled to go to Rome. He stressed how different ones were telling him not to go because he would surely be killed.  And in one portion of Scripture it points out that the Holy Ghost even spoke to him to let him know he would be put in jail if he went.  Yet Paul knew in His heart Rome is where God wanted him.  

The missionary made a comment that He could just picture Paul sitting in prison writing that letter to Timothy, while others back in other lands were talking about how Paul "just missed it."  Saying things like, "If he would've just stayed here...  If he would have just not gone to Rome... If he would have just done what we all thought, he'd be doing so much for God, and instead, he's stuck in some jail... doing nothing."  At that moment, I saw Paul as a human.  Not just as THE Apostle Paul who wrote most of the New Testament... but Paul, the man.  I realized right there in service that Paul had to eat some humble pie.  He was willing to do what God wanted him to do, despite everyone's comments of defeat.  He went to Rome to bring glory to the Most High, ended up in prison, and even wrote about people not visiting him there.  He talked about being cold and lonely, and he asked Timothy to bring him his coat... before winter.  Those, seemingly minor, details spoke wonders to me.  He felt the same pain, the same confusion, even the same coldness we do.  And he was willing to suffer it! Thank God, Paul gave his all.  If Paul hadn't been placed in jail, a guard would not have been saved and we wouldn't have all the soul piercing letters he wrote to the churches of his time.  I opened my Bible and noticed all the highlighted areas throughout Ephesians and Philippians, and 1st and 2nd Timothy.  All those verses had either helped encourage or convict my heart at some point in my life.  Although we see the reason for Paul's inprisonment now, back in his day, people lost respect for him, because in their eyes, He was doing nothing.

God spoke to me.  Never doubting His love, I felt His chastisement as well.  I had to let go of the pride of what others might think of us, if we follow God into a place they don't understand.  I had to quit saying no because of the fear of failure and disappointment.  I had to leave my comfort zone; surrender my all.

What's crazy awesome, is that as soon as I was willing to do that- God began to show me things.  We had doors open that same week, that we would have never dreamed of.  Seriously.  It's like they came from out of nowhere.  We got calls from people that we respected immensely, and yet never really got close to... and they called us because "they had been thinking about us."  After talking with them we were stunned to learn that they had went through almost, to the T, the exact same thing we were being dealt with about.  They encouraged us so much by sharing with us a verse that God had given them a year ago from the book of Psalms.  "Thou hast led me in a plain path."  The prayer of our hearts.  Someone else was where we are, God led them, and He would lead us.

Within a week's time, four people we have highly looked up to called us to give us words of encouragement... having no clue what it was we were even praying about.  God's confirmation is so surreal.  And it's so sweet.  I am so excited to see what God does with us in 2012.  Although the unknown is always a little scary, I won't be holding on to pride anymore.  I hope, if anything,  I could encourage someone out there to let go and let God.  Don't miss out on your time to make a difference, according to His will, because of things that don't matter.  It's just not worth it. Realize it's pride... it's sin... and it's causing you to miss out on God's greatness.  I had to eat a piece of that humble pie, and much to my surprise, it wasn't that bad.

Just a Little Something to Nibble On

*****Working for an eye dr- I see people lose their sight more often than others. I see the fear when you inform them they have a disease that could potentially blind them. I sense the hesitance when you tell them surgery on the eye would make them see clearer. I see them stubbornly refuse because they're afraid of possibly losing the sight they have NOW. They don't realize they can see even better!! They've gotten so used to their view they've had forever, anything different, well, just has to be worse. On the other hand, I see those that do get treated, and vision is restored. They smile and laugh, and point at things they didn't realize "were so bright blue!" Its amazing. Makes me even more thankful to JESUS for opening my eyes! I once was blind... BUT NOW... I CAN SEE!!*****

This is a facebook status I posted yesterday- and the thought has stuck with me.  I am overwhelmingly thankful for: #1- Jesus' sacrifice and #2- God's grace.  It's so humbling to think that the Creator of this world knows every awful thing about me... and STILL cares about me, forgives me, uses me, and believes in me enough to bear His name. What an unconditional love.

I remember something that happened a couple months back.  I was at work...  It had been a long and eventful day.  Everybody's nerves seemed to be frazzled.  We had been short handed, had several grumpy patients, and it seemed like everyone of us made one mistake or another that day.  Some people were literally on the verge of tears, others were griping, and some, like me, were just silent and obviously tense. Then, the office television (which had been on all day- and completely ignored by all employees) suddenly got my attention.  I could hear the sobering sound of bagpipes bellowing beautifully the melody of "Amazing Grace."  Beyond all my control, tears began to fill my eyes.  Instant peace flooded my soul.  As the soloist began to sing, and a few saw my tears, everyone else that was still in the office stopped and watched-  and listened.  Really listened.  As each stanza was completed you could hear sighs and a few gentle laughs.  When the first chorus was repeated to end the song, I said aloud, "Isn't it just awesome how the thought of the amazingness of God's grace can cover a multitude of frustrations?  And better yet... a multitude of sins!" 

I was so convicted and refreshed at the same time.  Convicted because I was JUST NOW remembering that verse in the Bible, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee."  Why is it that we let POINTLESS things take over our thoughts for any amount of time.  Just a few minutes is too long!  We must remember God's blessings outweigh any bad thing we think we may endure. 

Then I was refreshed... because I knew, I had found God's grace.  I had experienced it.  Grace is a gift He gave, and I accepted.  I'm thankful that when I was lost, He sought me and He found me!  And after years of living in darkness, He allowed me to see His light and the beauty that comes when living for Him.  I was blind.  Now, (thank God) I see.

Grace.  Grace.  God's grace.

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within.

Grace.  Grace. God's grace.

Grace that is greater than all my sin.

KIRK FRANKLIN LIVE - IMAGINE ME

Sample Sample

Surely every single one of us, at some point in our lives, have walked through the busseling food court of a busy mall, and heard that distant Chinese voice...  "Sample. Sample.  Sample! Sample!"     Of course, we musn't forget that crazy guy that runs around donning different hats, sunglasses, and scarves conning the Chinese out of chicken.   As humorous as it is... those samples really can get ya hooked.

I can think of countless times I had every intention of choosing a certain vendor or restaurant, but got cornered into trying a piece of peking chicken.  After tasting that one little sample, it made me realize how great the actual meal would be.  I'm pretty positive that at least 98% of the time, I was persuaded to choose the restaurant from which the sample was taken.  That annoying little word spoken in that funny little voice, got my business!! That little preview worked. Serving as a wonderful tool in the food industry, samples can also be given to preview things in other areas of our lives. 

I was just sitting here thinking of how there's SO STINKIN' MUCH I want to do with my life, and SO LITTLE TIME I have to do it...  and I don't want to waste a second!  Aaron and I both have such a zeal and desire to do something for the Lord- and we definitely feel Him leading in a certain direction- but it's taking some time to get the "meal prepared." On occasion, I get so weary waiting.  I literally cry out, "God, I'm here!  I'm so willing! I'm trying to be who You want me to be!  Why is it taking so long?  Don't You want willing vessels? Here am I; send me!" I hear Him speak, I feel Him lead, and I see His hand moving, yet the time is just not yet. This gets so unbearably hard at times.  In our little finite minds, it makes no sense whatsoever why God wouldn't open this thing that He's placed in our hearts right at the first moment we say, "Yes, Lord."  I mean, He called us.  We both felt it.  We both KNOW it.  We both want it. Why, if it's not time, right now? 

Because, they're samples. 

Only He sees the big picture, the next chapter, the main entree.  But, in order to keep us hungering, and to keep us wanting His divine plan with every piece of our hearts, He gives samples along the way to "hold us over".  That confirmation from a sermon.  That Scripture we read this morning that seemed to fly off the page.  That word someone felt like sharing.  That Spirit we felt in that service.  They're all samples.  They prove that the "meal" is there, if we choose it... and we'll get it as soon as it's ready to be served.

I sometimes have little pity parties (shame on me, I know)... and think my life has been full of "just samples."  There is some truth in that, because God doesn't ever plan on leaving you in the same place for too long! Just like anything that just sits in the same place for too long; you get dusty, or stale.  And frankly, I don't want those words describing me.  Sure, you may hold a certain position for a while, and that's great!... but God will soon start dealing with you about something else... even if it takes a little time for it to all be ready.  Sometimes you move on quickly.  God's first direction was just a door to lead you somewhere else.  I've seen it happen to others.  I've watched it happen to me.

Sometimes I let that thought rob me of victory.  I get so focused on the "meals" I haven't partaken of yet, that I forget about the little blessings God's providing.  Those many smaller opportunities He gave me to bless someone, they're just tossed right out the door.  No, we may not be doing what our hearts are so desperately set on full time yet.  Our everyday routine may not be filled with outreach and ministry like we so yearn, right at this moment. But I must realize those things I do faithfully, the Christian attitude I try so very hard to always have, the nice things I say to someone to try and encourage them a little bit longer, those dishes I wash, that shirt I iron, that phone call I make, that song I sing, testimony I give, prayer I pray... those little things I try to do for God that seem to not matter at all... they are little samples He gives me to show me what He's got to offer.  So, yes, my life has been filled with samples.  But I've had my share of meals, too.  God's done wonderful things in our life.  He's moved us around the country a few times.  He's led us to people who have been absolutely amazing influences or pillars in our lives.  He's called us to places to learn things we needed to learn.  We've dealt with things to cause us to see what we did or didn't need to do.  Hurts caused us to lean solely on Him, disappointments led us to trust Him... even mistakes caused us to remember that we must always look to Him. Everything is just a part of His plan.  Looking back, I can see the bigger pictures that before I couldn't see.  And because of that, I know that there's another one just around the bend. 

I'm glad God doesn't just throw us into something blindly.  He doesn't just push us through doors, or set full plates of some entirely new taste right in front of us.  He first gently whispers.  He, then, continues to lay things on our hearts.  He sends bits of peace and confirmation.  He gives that strong burden.  He gives us samples... just so we can have a small taste of the greatness He's about to set before us.