Greetings! There's something I just have to share! Over the last year, there's been such a needed change occur in my life... in my heart. I have joy and peace that I honestly can't explain. Have troubles stopped? No. Has the gossip ceased? Definitely not. In fact, I can probably be fairly accurate when I say it's gotten worse. But, for some Reason, the "cause" has had a much different "effect" with me. Before, what used to depress me for days, only lights a fire under me to just keep smiling and prove to the world I have the Real thing. The things I used to hear that were said about me, or those I love, used to make me so angry I couldn't even really think straight for a few days. Sure, I could muster up a fake smile and talk in a chipper voice, but inside, I knew that wasn't how I really felt. And, although I had some fooled, many could still tell there was something hurting my heart.
I finally reached the point that I knew it just DIDN'T MATTER. Really. Life, MY LIFE, is so short... do I want to spend it down in the dumps 80% of the time because of what some people choose to say or do? Should I worry and whine when life happens and things don't go my way? When I really deeply pondered on that question, I knew I had to make a change. I didn't want my life wasted. I didn't want to live any way other than happy, content, and fulfilled. That only came by completely FIXING my eyes on JESUS! That story of Peter walking on water meant so much more to me. I was able to really grasp it's incredible meaning. As soon as he looked around at the waves that were seemingly out to take him under, he started to sink. Why? Because he lost sight of Who it was that held him up. The same thing happened to me. I would start to think that my life would never amount to anything if these things didn't go away. If those voices didn't hush, I would surely never win. They were lying, they were hurting, they were HINDERING. But, God knew that, too. Which I believe is the very reason, when He got me to the point to understand that life could be so much more, He caused me to let it all go. Was it easy? No stinkin' way. It was the hardest battle fought up to this point in my life. But once the victory was claimed, it was so worth it.
Where am I going with this? Well, as sad as it is, I have, as Paul stated, "a thorn in my flesh." Someone out to literally destroy. No matter where it is... work, previous churches, friends... the list could go on. I've never been lied on or treated worse than this before. And that used to would have eaten me alive. I would have tossed and turned at night wondering who was going to believe her. What's she going to take away this time? But, God doesn't want us to pick up weapons... He wants to fight for us. So, that's what I'm going to let Him do. And in the meantime, I will rejoice in His love.
Just this morning, something else occurred... as soon as I felt the sting of frustration, a coworker of mine approached me with a smile. She said on her way to work she heard a song and felt like God wanted her to remind me of something. Her words were,
"Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors shaking in their armor wishing they'd have had the strength to stand. The giant's calling out your name and he laughs at you. Reminding you of all the times you've tried before and failed. The giant keeps on telling you, time and time again, "You'll never win. You'll NEVER win." BUT- the Voice of Truth tells you a different story. The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid." The Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory." Out of all the voices calling out to you... just choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth."
Did she know that was one of my favorite songs? Not a chance. Does she have a clue what's going on in my life? No way possible. Do I feel like God was speaking to me this morning? No doubts whatsoever.
Here comes that peace again. This joy is never fading. Life is worth living to it's fullest- and that's the only thing you'll want to do when Christ is in control. I finally know the full meaning of those words. Christ is in control! I just pray that if any of my wonderful friends are facing the same battles, or maybe only slightly similar ones, I would hope to encourage you today. Live your life for Christ and realize what's important. Remember, He NEVER gives us more than we can bear. AND, He is our shield. So, the "arrows" He's allowing to be shot at us, obviously aren't big threats. Just jump to the side a little, or duck. We're going to make it. Our lives are going to be amazing... if we so choose. Choose Jesus and watch it happen!
He can change your "tastebuds," and things that used to make you sick- will only bring a little more health to your spiritual life when handled by Him.
I'm a different person, all around... and I love it. I've never been more at ease, and yet more on edge to do something for His kingdom. I want to inspire everyone else to realize it can happen! If this extreme happiness can be in my heart 24/7... I know it's there waiting for you, too. Just ask Him. He's waiting.
Love!!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
O Taste And See
I must say-- it's been forever!! However, I have good reasons. (yay!) Aaron and I were extremely busy with college, and we got our first semester finished out with A's!
BUT- on an even better note - we were asked back in April to be the Associate Pastors of Student Ministries at Faith Assembly. It was a church that some old friends of ours pastored. Directing my thoughts that way, it's so obvious that the Lord seriously let us "just run into them." We found out they only lived about 40 miles away from us. We decided (after SEVERAL months) to visit. We had some questions that they had a lot of answers to, and we were going to meet with them about them.
Lo and behold, after just a few times of visiting with them, they informed us that they needed youth pastors, and they were praying that God would either send someone or lead them to find them. After much talk, and even more prayer, Aaron and I both sincerely and wholeheartedly felt like this was the road we should take.
I can honestly say, we've never been so excited and happy in all of our lives. We have both found an even bigger zeal to do something amazing for Jesus. As I read back over some of my past posts, and I go back even farther in my diary, seeing where I am today, and the opportunity we've been given... well, I'm just overwhelmed with gratitude. This position truly allows and supports us in nearly every dream we've ever longed to fulfill.
We are over some amazing teens! And talented!!! We lead Worship on Wednesdays with the youth, allowing us to incorporate a lot of the music we've written. We work side by side with some incredible people... and friends. That's a huge blessing all by itself. We feel nothing but love, support, and respect from them... which makes it a natural thing to give it all right back. It's definitely a team. And that's so nice.
We get to renovate the youth building. We're coming up with a name for the youth group. We're getting shirts made... We've got TONS of activities planned. We have at least three activities every month, not including practices and youth services. Every one of them completely supported by the Pastor and Board, who, in turn, push the church to fully support. I truly feel like I'm living a dream. Honestly, I am. It's my dream. Our dream. And it's incredible.
I remember back to the times when this all looked impossible. It was so easy to just want to give up, pursue a career, dedicate our lives to something different. Yet, the ministry was all we wanted. It's who He made us to be. And when He compelled us to remain faithful to Him, He proved Himself faithful by opening up the opportunity of a lifetime.
O taste and see, that the Lord, He Is Good! Once you've tasted of His blessings and grace... Once you've experienced for yourself how truly amazing the life He gives really is, you'll see how good He is. You'll crave His will, His work... and you'll keep desiring more of Him.
I'm so thankful to Him for every good and perfect gift in my life- for it comes only from Him. Today, this gal is unexplainably thrilled! This post doesn't have a unique thought with it, or a captivating illustration... but it's full of heartfelt gratitude and excitement. I'll do my best to keep it updated throughout our newest journey. (Plus, I have to tell you all about how my lil bro came to Illinois to live with us!!... but that's another story!!) In time, my friends, in time. :) LOVE!!
BUT- on an even better note - we were asked back in April to be the Associate Pastors of Student Ministries at Faith Assembly. It was a church that some old friends of ours pastored. Directing my thoughts that way, it's so obvious that the Lord seriously let us "just run into them." We found out they only lived about 40 miles away from us. We decided (after SEVERAL months) to visit. We had some questions that they had a lot of answers to, and we were going to meet with them about them.
Lo and behold, after just a few times of visiting with them, they informed us that they needed youth pastors, and they were praying that God would either send someone or lead them to find them. After much talk, and even more prayer, Aaron and I both sincerely and wholeheartedly felt like this was the road we should take.
I can honestly say, we've never been so excited and happy in all of our lives. We have both found an even bigger zeal to do something amazing for Jesus. As I read back over some of my past posts, and I go back even farther in my diary, seeing where I am today, and the opportunity we've been given... well, I'm just overwhelmed with gratitude. This position truly allows and supports us in nearly every dream we've ever longed to fulfill.
We are over some amazing teens! And talented!!! We lead Worship on Wednesdays with the youth, allowing us to incorporate a lot of the music we've written. We work side by side with some incredible people... and friends. That's a huge blessing all by itself. We feel nothing but love, support, and respect from them... which makes it a natural thing to give it all right back. It's definitely a team. And that's so nice.
We get to renovate the youth building. We're coming up with a name for the youth group. We're getting shirts made... We've got TONS of activities planned. We have at least three activities every month, not including practices and youth services. Every one of them completely supported by the Pastor and Board, who, in turn, push the church to fully support. I truly feel like I'm living a dream. Honestly, I am. It's my dream. Our dream. And it's incredible.
I remember back to the times when this all looked impossible. It was so easy to just want to give up, pursue a career, dedicate our lives to something different. Yet, the ministry was all we wanted. It's who He made us to be. And when He compelled us to remain faithful to Him, He proved Himself faithful by opening up the opportunity of a lifetime.
O taste and see, that the Lord, He Is Good! Once you've tasted of His blessings and grace... Once you've experienced for yourself how truly amazing the life He gives really is, you'll see how good He is. You'll crave His will, His work... and you'll keep desiring more of Him.
I'm so thankful to Him for every good and perfect gift in my life- for it comes only from Him. Today, this gal is unexplainably thrilled! This post doesn't have a unique thought with it, or a captivating illustration... but it's full of heartfelt gratitude and excitement. I'll do my best to keep it updated throughout our newest journey. (Plus, I have to tell you all about how my lil bro came to Illinois to live with us!!... but that's another story!!) In time, my friends, in time. :) LOVE!!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Humble Pie
Has anyone ever heard the saying, "They need to eat some humble pie?" In Kentucky, where I'm proudly from, it's an old one. As easy as it is to point out someone else's need for humility, noticing your own need for a piece, comes a little harder.
When referring to pride, I know the first thing that usually pops into our brains is arrogance, hatefulness, and "I'm better than you-ness." In this case, I'm talking about the pride in which it kills you to leave your comfort zone because of your fear of failure. I mean the pride that keeps you from stepping out and doing exactly what God wants for your life, because you're unsure of the response you'll get from everyone else around you. That's the pride I'm thinking of... and that's the pride I had.
I never noticed it before a month or so ago. Honestly. Up to that point I had always masked it as just trying to be smart or weighing my options. If that didn't fit the scenario, I then pulled my hurt or lack of self confidence out of the bag, and tried to throw that around. I think the Lord was getting tired of it. Actually, I have no doubts.
I was home from work doing my thing... cleaning, laundry, figuring out what to make for dinner... and I felt this overwhelming sense of discontent. Not an unthankful sort, but an "I'm really missing out on something" kind. I knelt down to pray almost instantly. I asked God to please lead us and guide us. Give us favor. Use us however He needed to bring glory to His name. I read Scriptures about Abraham "going... without knowing whither he went..." I heard songs about God leading a frightened, stuttering Moses back to Egypt to deliver His people. I felt that God was about to make some major changes in my life... and I got scared? No. Prideful. But God, I don't know if I could handle this. I don't know what others will think. What if it doesn't bring about some magnificent thing and people think we're just young and dumb? What if we get no support? When will it work out? How will it work out? I asked a ton of questions that didn't deserve an answer. And God, being God, knew that... and He offered none.
About a week or so later, a missionary came to our church. I love and respect missionaries beyond words. Major sacrifices, for the cause of Christ... that's commendable and admirable. But, I was really needing God to speak to me... and knowing that the service was probably going to be about the work going on in another country... I didn't think it was going to happen. (Again, notice the pride... I thought God had to do it a certain way... Wow.) Yet, when this man began to speak, I knew it was going to be different than I had come expecting.
The message was regarding the Apostle Paul. A brief foundation was given about the amazing conversion of Saul- to Paul, the obstacles he faced, and the lives he won for Jesus. Towards the middle of the sermon, the objective changed. He started focusing on Paul and the time he felt compelled to go to Rome. He stressed how different ones were telling him not to go because he would surely be killed. And in one portion of Scripture it points out that the Holy Ghost even spoke to him to let him know he would be put in jail if he went. Yet Paul knew in His heart Rome is where God wanted him.
The missionary made a comment that He could just picture Paul sitting in prison writing that letter to Timothy, while others back in other lands were talking about how Paul "just missed it." Saying things like, "If he would've just stayed here... If he would have just not gone to Rome... If he would have just done what we all thought, he'd be doing so much for God, and instead, he's stuck in some jail... doing nothing." At that moment, I saw Paul as a human. Not just as THE Apostle Paul who wrote most of the New Testament... but Paul, the man. I realized right there in service that Paul had to eat some humble pie. He was willing to do what God wanted him to do, despite everyone's comments of defeat. He went to Rome to bring glory to the Most High, ended up in prison, and even wrote about people not visiting him there. He talked about being cold and lonely, and he asked Timothy to bring him his coat... before winter. Those, seemingly minor, details spoke wonders to me. He felt the same pain, the same confusion, even the same coldness we do. And he was willing to suffer it! Thank God, Paul gave his all. If Paul hadn't been placed in jail, a guard would not have been saved and we wouldn't have all the soul piercing letters he wrote to the churches of his time. I opened my Bible and noticed all the highlighted areas throughout Ephesians and Philippians, and 1st and 2nd Timothy. All those verses had either helped encourage or convict my heart at some point in my life. Although we see the reason for Paul's inprisonment now, back in his day, people lost respect for him, because in their eyes, He was doing nothing.
God spoke to me. Never doubting His love, I felt His chastisement as well. I had to let go of the pride of what others might think of us, if we follow God into a place they don't understand. I had to quit saying no because of the fear of failure and disappointment. I had to leave my comfort zone; surrender my all.
What's crazy awesome, is that as soon as I was willing to do that- God began to show me things. We had doors open that same week, that we would have never dreamed of. Seriously. It's like they came from out of nowhere. We got calls from people that we respected immensely, and yet never really got close to... and they called us because "they had been thinking about us." After talking with them we were stunned to learn that they had went through almost, to the T, the exact same thing we were being dealt with about. They encouraged us so much by sharing with us a verse that God had given them a year ago from the book of Psalms. "Thou hast led me in a plain path." The prayer of our hearts. Someone else was where we are, God led them, and He would lead us.
Within a week's time, four people we have highly looked up to called us to give us words of encouragement... having no clue what it was we were even praying about. God's confirmation is so surreal. And it's so sweet. I am so excited to see what God does with us in 2012. Although the unknown is always a little scary, I won't be holding on to pride anymore. I hope, if anything, I could encourage someone out there to let go and let God. Don't miss out on your time to make a difference, according to His will, because of things that don't matter. It's just not worth it. Realize it's pride... it's sin... and it's causing you to miss out on God's greatness. I had to eat a piece of that humble pie, and much to my surprise, it wasn't that bad.
When referring to pride, I know the first thing that usually pops into our brains is arrogance, hatefulness, and "I'm better than you-ness." In this case, I'm talking about the pride in which it kills you to leave your comfort zone because of your fear of failure. I mean the pride that keeps you from stepping out and doing exactly what God wants for your life, because you're unsure of the response you'll get from everyone else around you. That's the pride I'm thinking of... and that's the pride I had.
I never noticed it before a month or so ago. Honestly. Up to that point I had always masked it as just trying to be smart or weighing my options. If that didn't fit the scenario, I then pulled my hurt or lack of self confidence out of the bag, and tried to throw that around. I think the Lord was getting tired of it. Actually, I have no doubts.
I was home from work doing my thing... cleaning, laundry, figuring out what to make for dinner... and I felt this overwhelming sense of discontent. Not an unthankful sort, but an "I'm really missing out on something" kind. I knelt down to pray almost instantly. I asked God to please lead us and guide us. Give us favor. Use us however He needed to bring glory to His name. I read Scriptures about Abraham "going... without knowing whither he went..." I heard songs about God leading a frightened, stuttering Moses back to Egypt to deliver His people. I felt that God was about to make some major changes in my life... and I got scared? No. Prideful. But God, I don't know if I could handle this. I don't know what others will think. What if it doesn't bring about some magnificent thing and people think we're just young and dumb? What if we get no support? When will it work out? How will it work out? I asked a ton of questions that didn't deserve an answer. And God, being God, knew that... and He offered none.
About a week or so later, a missionary came to our church. I love and respect missionaries beyond words. Major sacrifices, for the cause of Christ... that's commendable and admirable. But, I was really needing God to speak to me... and knowing that the service was probably going to be about the work going on in another country... I didn't think it was going to happen. (Again, notice the pride... I thought God had to do it a certain way... Wow.) Yet, when this man began to speak, I knew it was going to be different than I had come expecting.
The message was regarding the Apostle Paul. A brief foundation was given about the amazing conversion of Saul- to Paul, the obstacles he faced, and the lives he won for Jesus. Towards the middle of the sermon, the objective changed. He started focusing on Paul and the time he felt compelled to go to Rome. He stressed how different ones were telling him not to go because he would surely be killed. And in one portion of Scripture it points out that the Holy Ghost even spoke to him to let him know he would be put in jail if he went. Yet Paul knew in His heart Rome is where God wanted him.
The missionary made a comment that He could just picture Paul sitting in prison writing that letter to Timothy, while others back in other lands were talking about how Paul "just missed it." Saying things like, "If he would've just stayed here... If he would have just not gone to Rome... If he would have just done what we all thought, he'd be doing so much for God, and instead, he's stuck in some jail... doing nothing." At that moment, I saw Paul as a human. Not just as THE Apostle Paul who wrote most of the New Testament... but Paul, the man. I realized right there in service that Paul had to eat some humble pie. He was willing to do what God wanted him to do, despite everyone's comments of defeat. He went to Rome to bring glory to the Most High, ended up in prison, and even wrote about people not visiting him there. He talked about being cold and lonely, and he asked Timothy to bring him his coat... before winter. Those, seemingly minor, details spoke wonders to me. He felt the same pain, the same confusion, even the same coldness we do. And he was willing to suffer it! Thank God, Paul gave his all. If Paul hadn't been placed in jail, a guard would not have been saved and we wouldn't have all the soul piercing letters he wrote to the churches of his time. I opened my Bible and noticed all the highlighted areas throughout Ephesians and Philippians, and 1st and 2nd Timothy. All those verses had either helped encourage or convict my heart at some point in my life. Although we see the reason for Paul's inprisonment now, back in his day, people lost respect for him, because in their eyes, He was doing nothing.
God spoke to me. Never doubting His love, I felt His chastisement as well. I had to let go of the pride of what others might think of us, if we follow God into a place they don't understand. I had to quit saying no because of the fear of failure and disappointment. I had to leave my comfort zone; surrender my all.
What's crazy awesome, is that as soon as I was willing to do that- God began to show me things. We had doors open that same week, that we would have never dreamed of. Seriously. It's like they came from out of nowhere. We got calls from people that we respected immensely, and yet never really got close to... and they called us because "they had been thinking about us." After talking with them we were stunned to learn that they had went through almost, to the T, the exact same thing we were being dealt with about. They encouraged us so much by sharing with us a verse that God had given them a year ago from the book of Psalms. "Thou hast led me in a plain path." The prayer of our hearts. Someone else was where we are, God led them, and He would lead us.
Within a week's time, four people we have highly looked up to called us to give us words of encouragement... having no clue what it was we were even praying about. God's confirmation is so surreal. And it's so sweet. I am so excited to see what God does with us in 2012. Although the unknown is always a little scary, I won't be holding on to pride anymore. I hope, if anything, I could encourage someone out there to let go and let God. Don't miss out on your time to make a difference, according to His will, because of things that don't matter. It's just not worth it. Realize it's pride... it's sin... and it's causing you to miss out on God's greatness. I had to eat a piece of that humble pie, and much to my surprise, it wasn't that bad.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Just a Little Something to Nibble On
*****Working for an eye dr- I see people lose their sight more often than others. I see the fear when you inform them they have a disease that could potentially blind them. I sense the hesitance when you tell them surgery on the eye would make them see clearer. I see them stubbornly refuse because they're afraid of possibly losing the sight they have NOW. They don't realize they can see even better!! They've gotten so used to their view they've had forever, anything different, well, just has to be worse. On the other hand, I see those that do get treated, and vision is restored. They smile and laugh, and point at things they didn't realize "were so bright blue!" Its amazing. Makes me even more thankful to JESUS for opening my eyes! I once was blind... BUT NOW... I CAN SEE!!*****
This is a facebook status I posted yesterday- and the thought has stuck with me. I am overwhelmingly thankful for: #1- Jesus' sacrifice and #2- God's grace. It's so humbling to think that the Creator of this world knows every awful thing about me... and STILL cares about me, forgives me, uses me, and believes in me enough to bear His name. What an unconditional love.
I remember something that happened a couple months back. I was at work... It had been a long and eventful day. Everybody's nerves seemed to be frazzled. We had been short handed, had several grumpy patients, and it seemed like everyone of us made one mistake or another that day. Some people were literally on the verge of tears, others were griping, and some, like me, were just silent and obviously tense. Then, the office television (which had been on all day- and completely ignored by all employees) suddenly got my attention. I could hear the sobering sound of bagpipes bellowing beautifully the melody of "Amazing Grace." Beyond all my control, tears began to fill my eyes. Instant peace flooded my soul. As the soloist began to sing, and a few saw my tears, everyone else that was still in the office stopped and watched- and listened. Really listened. As each stanza was completed you could hear sighs and a few gentle laughs. When the first chorus was repeated to end the song, I said aloud, "Isn't it just awesome how the thought of the amazingness of God's grace can cover a multitude of frustrations? And better yet... a multitude of sins!"
I was so convicted and refreshed at the same time. Convicted because I was JUST NOW remembering that verse in the Bible, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee." Why is it that we let POINTLESS things take over our thoughts for any amount of time. Just a few minutes is too long! We must remember God's blessings outweigh any bad thing we think we may endure.
Then I was refreshed... because I knew, I had found God's grace. I had experienced it. Grace is a gift He gave, and I accepted. I'm thankful that when I was lost, He sought me and He found me! And after years of living in darkness, He allowed me to see His light and the beauty that comes when living for Him. I was blind. Now, (thank God) I see.
Grace. Grace. God's grace.
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within.
Grace. Grace. God's grace.
Grace that is greater than all my sin.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Sample Sample
Surely every single one of us, at some point in our lives, have walked through the busseling food court of a busy mall, and heard that distant Chinese voice... "Sample. Sample. Sample! Sample!" Of course, we musn't forget that crazy guy that runs around donning different hats, sunglasses, and scarves conning the Chinese out of chicken. As humorous as it is... those samples really can get ya hooked.
I can think of countless times I had every intention of choosing a certain vendor or restaurant, but got cornered into trying a piece of peking chicken. After tasting that one little sample, it made me realize how great the actual meal would be. I'm pretty positive that at least 98% of the time, I was persuaded to choose the restaurant from which the sample was taken. That annoying little word spoken in that funny little voice, got my business!! That little preview worked. Serving as a wonderful tool in the food industry, samples can also be given to preview things in other areas of our lives.
I was just sitting here thinking of how there's SO STINKIN' MUCH I want to do with my life, and SO LITTLE TIME I have to do it... and I don't want to waste a second! Aaron and I both have such a zeal and desire to do something for the Lord- and we definitely feel Him leading in a certain direction- but it's taking some time to get the "meal prepared." On occasion, I get so weary waiting. I literally cry out, "God, I'm here! I'm so willing! I'm trying to be who You want me to be! Why is it taking so long? Don't You want willing vessels? Here am I; send me!" I hear Him speak, I feel Him lead, and I see His hand moving, yet the time is just not yet. This gets so unbearably hard at times. In our little finite minds, it makes no sense whatsoever why God wouldn't open this thing that He's placed in our hearts right at the first moment we say, "Yes, Lord." I mean, He called us. We both felt it. We both KNOW it. We both want it. Why, if it's not time, right now?
Because, they're samples.
Only He sees the big picture, the next chapter, the main entree. But, in order to keep us hungering, and to keep us wanting His divine plan with every piece of our hearts, He gives samples along the way to "hold us over". That confirmation from a sermon. That Scripture we read this morning that seemed to fly off the page. That word someone felt like sharing. That Spirit we felt in that service. They're all samples. They prove that the "meal" is there, if we choose it... and we'll get it as soon as it's ready to be served.
I sometimes have little pity parties (shame on me, I know)... and think my life has been full of "just samples." There is some truth in that, because God doesn't ever plan on leaving you in the same place for too long! Just like anything that just sits in the same place for too long; you get dusty, or stale. And frankly, I don't want those words describing me. Sure, you may hold a certain position for a while, and that's great!... but God will soon start dealing with you about something else... even if it takes a little time for it to all be ready. Sometimes you move on quickly. God's first direction was just a door to lead you somewhere else. I've seen it happen to others. I've watched it happen to me.
Sometimes I let that thought rob me of victory. I get so focused on the "meals" I haven't partaken of yet, that I forget about the little blessings God's providing. Those many smaller opportunities He gave me to bless someone, they're just tossed right out the door. No, we may not be doing what our hearts are so desperately set on full time yet. Our everyday routine may not be filled with outreach and ministry like we so yearn, right at this moment. But I must realize those things I do faithfully, the Christian attitude I try so very hard to always have, the nice things I say to someone to try and encourage them a little bit longer, those dishes I wash, that shirt I iron, that phone call I make, that song I sing, testimony I give, prayer I pray... those little things I try to do for God that seem to not matter at all... they are little samples He gives me to show me what He's got to offer. So, yes, my life has been filled with samples. But I've had my share of meals, too. God's done wonderful things in our life. He's moved us around the country a few times. He's led us to people who have been absolutely amazing influences or pillars in our lives. He's called us to places to learn things we needed to learn. We've dealt with things to cause us to see what we did or didn't need to do. Hurts caused us to lean solely on Him, disappointments led us to trust Him... even mistakes caused us to remember that we must always look to Him. Everything is just a part of His plan. Looking back, I can see the bigger pictures that before I couldn't see. And because of that, I know that there's another one just around the bend.
I'm glad God doesn't just throw us into something blindly. He doesn't just push us through doors, or set full plates of some entirely new taste right in front of us. He first gently whispers. He, then, continues to lay things on our hearts. He sends bits of peace and confirmation. He gives that strong burden. He gives us samples... just so we can have a small taste of the greatness He's about to set before us.
I can think of countless times I had every intention of choosing a certain vendor or restaurant, but got cornered into trying a piece of peking chicken. After tasting that one little sample, it made me realize how great the actual meal would be. I'm pretty positive that at least 98% of the time, I was persuaded to choose the restaurant from which the sample was taken. That annoying little word spoken in that funny little voice, got my business!! That little preview worked. Serving as a wonderful tool in the food industry, samples can also be given to preview things in other areas of our lives.
I was just sitting here thinking of how there's SO STINKIN' MUCH I want to do with my life, and SO LITTLE TIME I have to do it... and I don't want to waste a second! Aaron and I both have such a zeal and desire to do something for the Lord- and we definitely feel Him leading in a certain direction- but it's taking some time to get the "meal prepared." On occasion, I get so weary waiting. I literally cry out, "God, I'm here! I'm so willing! I'm trying to be who You want me to be! Why is it taking so long? Don't You want willing vessels? Here am I; send me!" I hear Him speak, I feel Him lead, and I see His hand moving, yet the time is just not yet. This gets so unbearably hard at times. In our little finite minds, it makes no sense whatsoever why God wouldn't open this thing that He's placed in our hearts right at the first moment we say, "Yes, Lord." I mean, He called us. We both felt it. We both KNOW it. We both want it. Why, if it's not time, right now?
Because, they're samples.
Only He sees the big picture, the next chapter, the main entree. But, in order to keep us hungering, and to keep us wanting His divine plan with every piece of our hearts, He gives samples along the way to "hold us over". That confirmation from a sermon. That Scripture we read this morning that seemed to fly off the page. That word someone felt like sharing. That Spirit we felt in that service. They're all samples. They prove that the "meal" is there, if we choose it... and we'll get it as soon as it's ready to be served.
I sometimes have little pity parties (shame on me, I know)... and think my life has been full of "just samples." There is some truth in that, because God doesn't ever plan on leaving you in the same place for too long! Just like anything that just sits in the same place for too long; you get dusty, or stale. And frankly, I don't want those words describing me. Sure, you may hold a certain position for a while, and that's great!... but God will soon start dealing with you about something else... even if it takes a little time for it to all be ready. Sometimes you move on quickly. God's first direction was just a door to lead you somewhere else. I've seen it happen to others. I've watched it happen to me.
Sometimes I let that thought rob me of victory. I get so focused on the "meals" I haven't partaken of yet, that I forget about the little blessings God's providing. Those many smaller opportunities He gave me to bless someone, they're just tossed right out the door. No, we may not be doing what our hearts are so desperately set on full time yet. Our everyday routine may not be filled with outreach and ministry like we so yearn, right at this moment. But I must realize those things I do faithfully, the Christian attitude I try so very hard to always have, the nice things I say to someone to try and encourage them a little bit longer, those dishes I wash, that shirt I iron, that phone call I make, that song I sing, testimony I give, prayer I pray... those little things I try to do for God that seem to not matter at all... they are little samples He gives me to show me what He's got to offer. So, yes, my life has been filled with samples. But I've had my share of meals, too. God's done wonderful things in our life. He's moved us around the country a few times. He's led us to people who have been absolutely amazing influences or pillars in our lives. He's called us to places to learn things we needed to learn. We've dealt with things to cause us to see what we did or didn't need to do. Hurts caused us to lean solely on Him, disappointments led us to trust Him... even mistakes caused us to remember that we must always look to Him. Everything is just a part of His plan. Looking back, I can see the bigger pictures that before I couldn't see. And because of that, I know that there's another one just around the bend.
I'm glad God doesn't just throw us into something blindly. He doesn't just push us through doors, or set full plates of some entirely new taste right in front of us. He first gently whispers. He, then, continues to lay things on our hearts. He sends bits of peace and confirmation. He gives that strong burden. He gives us samples... just so we can have a small taste of the greatness He's about to set before us.
Monday, February 20, 2012
A Little Too Done
Have you ever cooked something, or ate something that someone else cooked, that just got a little too done? I have. More than once. Although I eat it, either because I have to, or simply because that's the mannerly thing to do, it's not always scrumptiously satisfying. Nonetheless, it's what I have to partake of at that particular time.
I kinda had a time like that a few weeks ago... looking at my life. Three, maybe four, days right in a row- stuff was just coming my way. I was getting "burnt."... Just a little too done.
At work, I dealt with drama that just didn't seem fair. It wasn't right. Everything that could have been done to annoy me, was done... and most of it was intentionally. Hours were cut, schedules were changed, things were said, promises were broken... Not a very nice feeling.
On top of that, we had some other news, (that I'm afraid would be too personal to share the details)... that had us convinced that the one thing that seemed to be going great in this chapter of our lives, was about to be stripped away. Plans we had been so excited in making were going to be pushed aside, again.
And, referring to a post I shared last month, I was having a hard time dealing with some health issues. Any thoughts or daydreams of a future family, brought an ache to my heart. Question after question. Thought after thought. Fear after fear.
Then we had some unknown charges appear on our bank statement... information hackers. Sweetness, right?
Next comes "hurt by people." Someone I had at one time looked up to, and felt pretty close to, said some really rude and unnecessary things to me. And when I use the word unnecessary, that's being nice. Yeah... it was a rough week for this ol' gal.
But ya know what? When that fourth rough day started to really take it's toll on me... when I called my husband crying and whining about how I was just getting close to my wit's end... when I fell down on my knees and asked God to give me a break... I heard Him speak.
"Kristi, do you remember what you testified about just five days ago? Do you remember when you talked about Job, and how he found a reason to praise Me in spite of everything he had to face? Can you recall that verse that so pricked your heart, and apply it to your own life, right now?"
Tears. Tears. And more tears. Just that past Sunday, as we started studying the book of Job, several people in our church were making comments about how they just didn't understand how he was able to find thankfulness so easily after his severe loss. Some made remarks on how they just didn't know if they would be able to be as faithful as Job. How could you be so grateful after losing absolutely everything dear to your heart?
That afternoon I ran across a verse in Psalms, that simply stated, "I will praise the Lord according to His righteousness." Then like a ton of bricks, it smacked me right in the face. That's how Job still had a praise! Because it doesn't matter one iota what we have or don't have... as Job said, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, but blessed be the name of the Lord."
Why is it so easy to lift up thankful hands right after a loved one passes away? Because He will comfort. How can we smile and sing "How Great Thou Art" as our heart aches due to the emptiness of our arms where we so long for a baby to be? Because He understands. How is it that we can stand and testify of God's goodness when we don't know how we'll pay our next bill? Because He's faithful. Why do we fall on our face and praise His name when we've been wronged by a brother or sister? Because He's holy. We praise Him, because He's righteous. He's worthy. He's God... and that's enough.
My tears of frustration soon became tears of guilt, which then became tears of joy, as I realized God knew my name. He knew where I was, how I felt, and loved me enough to try me. And when I felt His conviction, it reminded me, once again, how truly alive He is.
His goodness is unexplainable. His peace passeth all understanding. His love is unphathomable. The assurance we have in Him is beyond comprehension. When I think I've had more than I can bear... when I'm just a little too done with the circumstances of this life, I can find victory just as soon as I magnify His name.
Although the awesomeness of my Savior can't be explained, imitated, expressed, or even imagined... it can be experienced. Just ask Him to make Himself real to you again... or for the first time.
If life has you crying out in anger, confusion, hurt, depression, or if you're just tired of feeling lonely... look to Jesus and read the end of Job. He was doubley blessed in everything that he had once lost. God's got your back. Find Him. Trust Him. And praise Him, according to His righteousness!
I kinda had a time like that a few weeks ago... looking at my life. Three, maybe four, days right in a row- stuff was just coming my way. I was getting "burnt."... Just a little too done.
At work, I dealt with drama that just didn't seem fair. It wasn't right. Everything that could have been done to annoy me, was done... and most of it was intentionally. Hours were cut, schedules were changed, things were said, promises were broken... Not a very nice feeling.
On top of that, we had some other news, (that I'm afraid would be too personal to share the details)... that had us convinced that the one thing that seemed to be going great in this chapter of our lives, was about to be stripped away. Plans we had been so excited in making were going to be pushed aside, again.
And, referring to a post I shared last month, I was having a hard time dealing with some health issues. Any thoughts or daydreams of a future family, brought an ache to my heart. Question after question. Thought after thought. Fear after fear.
Then we had some unknown charges appear on our bank statement... information hackers. Sweetness, right?
Next comes "hurt by people." Someone I had at one time looked up to, and felt pretty close to, said some really rude and unnecessary things to me. And when I use the word unnecessary, that's being nice. Yeah... it was a rough week for this ol' gal.
But ya know what? When that fourth rough day started to really take it's toll on me... when I called my husband crying and whining about how I was just getting close to my wit's end... when I fell down on my knees and asked God to give me a break... I heard Him speak.
"Kristi, do you remember what you testified about just five days ago? Do you remember when you talked about Job, and how he found a reason to praise Me in spite of everything he had to face? Can you recall that verse that so pricked your heart, and apply it to your own life, right now?"
Tears. Tears. And more tears. Just that past Sunday, as we started studying the book of Job, several people in our church were making comments about how they just didn't understand how he was able to find thankfulness so easily after his severe loss. Some made remarks on how they just didn't know if they would be able to be as faithful as Job. How could you be so grateful after losing absolutely everything dear to your heart?
That afternoon I ran across a verse in Psalms, that simply stated, "I will praise the Lord according to His righteousness." Then like a ton of bricks, it smacked me right in the face. That's how Job still had a praise! Because it doesn't matter one iota what we have or don't have... as Job said, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, but blessed be the name of the Lord."
Why is it so easy to lift up thankful hands right after a loved one passes away? Because He will comfort. How can we smile and sing "How Great Thou Art" as our heart aches due to the emptiness of our arms where we so long for a baby to be? Because He understands. How is it that we can stand and testify of God's goodness when we don't know how we'll pay our next bill? Because He's faithful. Why do we fall on our face and praise His name when we've been wronged by a brother or sister? Because He's holy. We praise Him, because He's righteous. He's worthy. He's God... and that's enough.
My tears of frustration soon became tears of guilt, which then became tears of joy, as I realized God knew my name. He knew where I was, how I felt, and loved me enough to try me. And when I felt His conviction, it reminded me, once again, how truly alive He is.
His goodness is unexplainable. His peace passeth all understanding. His love is unphathomable. The assurance we have in Him is beyond comprehension. When I think I've had more than I can bear... when I'm just a little too done with the circumstances of this life, I can find victory just as soon as I magnify His name.
Although the awesomeness of my Savior can't be explained, imitated, expressed, or even imagined... it can be experienced. Just ask Him to make Himself real to you again... or for the first time.
If life has you crying out in anger, confusion, hurt, depression, or if you're just tired of feeling lonely... look to Jesus and read the end of Job. He was doubley blessed in everything that he had once lost. God's got your back. Find Him. Trust Him. And praise Him, according to His righteousness!
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