Humble Pie

Has anyone ever heard the saying, "They need to eat some humble pie?" In Kentucky, where I'm proudly from, it's an old one. As easy as it is to point out someone else's need for humility, noticing your own need for a piece, comes a little harder. 

When referring to pride, I know the first thing that usually pops into our brains is arrogance, hatefulness, and "I'm better than you-ness."  In this case, I'm talking about the pride in which it kills you to leave your comfort zone because of your fear of failure. I mean the pride that keeps you from stepping out and doing exactly what God wants for your life, because you're unsure of the response you'll get from everyone else around you.  That's the pride I'm thinking of... and that's the pride I had.

I never noticed it before a month or so ago.  Honestly.  Up to that point I had always masked it as just trying to be smart or weighing my options.  If that didn't fit the scenario, I then pulled my hurt or lack of self confidence out of the bag, and tried to throw that around.  I think the Lord was getting tired of it. Actually, I have no doubts.

I was home from work doing my thing... cleaning, laundry, figuring out what to make for dinner...  and I felt this overwhelming sense of discontent.  Not an unthankful sort, but an "I'm really missing out on something" kind.  I knelt down to pray almost instantly.  I asked God to please lead us and guide us.  Give us favor.  Use us however He needed to bring glory to His name. I read Scriptures about Abraham "going... without knowing whither he went..."  I heard songs about God leading a frightened, stuttering Moses back to Egypt to deliver His people.  I felt that God was about to make some major changes in my life...  and I got scared?  No.  Prideful.  But God, I don't know if I could handle this.  I don't know what others will think.  What if it doesn't bring about some magnificent thing and people think we're just young and dumb?  What if we get no support?  When will it work out?  How will it work out?  I asked a ton of questions that didn't deserve an answer.  And God, being God, knew that... and He offered none.

About a week or so later, a missionary came to our church.  I love and respect missionaries beyond words.  Major sacrifices, for the cause of Christ...  that's commendable and admirable.  But, I was really needing God to speak to me... and knowing that the service was probably going to be about the work going on in another country... I didn't think it was going to happen.  (Again, notice the pride...  I thought God had to do it a certain way...  Wow.)  Yet, when this man began to speak, I knew it was going to be different than I had come expecting.

The message was regarding the Apostle Paul.  A brief foundation was given about the amazing conversion of Saul- to Paul,  the obstacles he faced, and the lives he won for Jesus.  Towards the middle of the sermon, the objective changed.  He started focusing on Paul and the time he felt compelled to go to Rome. He stressed how different ones were telling him not to go because he would surely be killed.  And in one portion of Scripture it points out that the Holy Ghost even spoke to him to let him know he would be put in jail if he went.  Yet Paul knew in His heart Rome is where God wanted him.  

The missionary made a comment that He could just picture Paul sitting in prison writing that letter to Timothy, while others back in other lands were talking about how Paul "just missed it."  Saying things like, "If he would've just stayed here...  If he would have just not gone to Rome... If he would have just done what we all thought, he'd be doing so much for God, and instead, he's stuck in some jail... doing nothing."  At that moment, I saw Paul as a human.  Not just as THE Apostle Paul who wrote most of the New Testament... but Paul, the man.  I realized right there in service that Paul had to eat some humble pie.  He was willing to do what God wanted him to do, despite everyone's comments of defeat.  He went to Rome to bring glory to the Most High, ended up in prison, and even wrote about people not visiting him there.  He talked about being cold and lonely, and he asked Timothy to bring him his coat... before winter.  Those, seemingly minor, details spoke wonders to me.  He felt the same pain, the same confusion, even the same coldness we do.  And he was willing to suffer it! Thank God, Paul gave his all.  If Paul hadn't been placed in jail, a guard would not have been saved and we wouldn't have all the soul piercing letters he wrote to the churches of his time.  I opened my Bible and noticed all the highlighted areas throughout Ephesians and Philippians, and 1st and 2nd Timothy.  All those verses had either helped encourage or convict my heart at some point in my life.  Although we see the reason for Paul's inprisonment now, back in his day, people lost respect for him, because in their eyes, He was doing nothing.

God spoke to me.  Never doubting His love, I felt His chastisement as well.  I had to let go of the pride of what others might think of us, if we follow God into a place they don't understand.  I had to quit saying no because of the fear of failure and disappointment.  I had to leave my comfort zone; surrender my all.

What's crazy awesome, is that as soon as I was willing to do that- God began to show me things.  We had doors open that same week, that we would have never dreamed of.  Seriously.  It's like they came from out of nowhere.  We got calls from people that we respected immensely, and yet never really got close to... and they called us because "they had been thinking about us."  After talking with them we were stunned to learn that they had went through almost, to the T, the exact same thing we were being dealt with about.  They encouraged us so much by sharing with us a verse that God had given them a year ago from the book of Psalms.  "Thou hast led me in a plain path."  The prayer of our hearts.  Someone else was where we are, God led them, and He would lead us.

Within a week's time, four people we have highly looked up to called us to give us words of encouragement... having no clue what it was we were even praying about.  God's confirmation is so surreal.  And it's so sweet.  I am so excited to see what God does with us in 2012.  Although the unknown is always a little scary, I won't be holding on to pride anymore.  I hope, if anything,  I could encourage someone out there to let go and let God.  Don't miss out on your time to make a difference, according to His will, because of things that don't matter.  It's just not worth it. Realize it's pride... it's sin... and it's causing you to miss out on God's greatness.  I had to eat a piece of that humble pie, and much to my surprise, it wasn't that bad.

Try Something New

Are you afraid to?  Do you fear what the outcome will be?  Does the thought of failure make you shudder at even the slightest possibility?  Is this keeping you from making something of yourself?  I was there... that was me.  I can't say I snapped my fingers and just made up my mind that I was done with it. BUT, I did fall on my knees and determine in my heart, that this was not God's will for my life- and WE were done with it.  Oh, how much happier I've been!
I've heard it said, "Success is not common.  Therefore, the common rarely see success."  This is true... and I don't mean it to look down on any.  When I say the "common"... I am not talking about the middle class person in the economy.  I'm not meaning the B-C average student.  The "non-popular" crowd doesn't even cross my mind when I say that word.  I think of those who just don't try... those who just want to "go with the flow" or "follow the 'in' crowd", and those who just get swept away with every new fad that blows their way.  A lot of people, especially young people, feel that they have to fit in by keeping up with the latest trends and styles.  Let me say something to you potential-filled lives right now- What the majority does is not cool-  it's common.  STAND OUT! 
I'm not for just doing ANYTHING to get attention-  that's not really unique in our day and time anymore either.  But- do something that matters!!  Going out of your way to make a difference-  a GOOD difference-  that's success.  Even IF you don't get to accomplish every single thing you attempt... living a life where you're constantly trying to make yourself a better person, a better friend, someone who has the resources to help those in need... and still make time to "smell the roses" and "live, laugh, and love,"... that is a life well-spent.  A life well-accomplished.
To make things personal... I've wanted to go back to school to allow myself an opportunity to fulfill one of the biggest dreams in my heart- which in turn- will open doors for me to reach a lot of other goals I have set.  Me and my husband. We've put off going back for about 4 years or so- because we let other people keep talking us out of going.  "You need to do this"... or "you should probably do that"... and even "you're too good at this to pursue anything else..."  The list could go on.  We actually felt like we needed to listen to all those things at first.  Yet, after years kept passing we realized we were getting older. (duh)  Our opportunities were coming... and going.  Our excitement and zeal to do great things for the Lord were slowing dissinegrating into nothingness because what we felt like doing-  what we were excited about  - didn't seem to be the right things...  ... to other people... ...  Why in the world does that matter??  I mean, seriously.  Why?  It shouldn't. Now, I'm very passionate about these things, and I get aggravated when I see other people trying to discourage other people's dreams (when they're in the right)- just because they don't understand them.  (But, I'm still against rebellious attitudes and spiteful spirits.  If they get ahold of you-  your dreams will not be what they were intended to be.  Don't let this happen.  PLEASE.)  But, don't sit back and watch others live the life they want to, while you just sit back and say, "I'm just meant to sit here and wait till I'm called on."  No, you're not.  You were put here on this earth by the Creator of it to bring glory to His name, healing to broken hearts, encouragement to those who are low, hope to those who have lost it all, love to children who have never been shown it, a smile to those who can't bear to see another look of disappointment.  You are here for a reason!  A great, important, precious reason.  Find out what that is.  You'll know.  And try it!
Here is an example in my life that is both comical and almost inspiring...  I love Taco Bell.  Always have.  If I choose fast food- I choose Taco Bell.  And for YEARS... and I literally mean YEARS... anytime I would go I would order the SAME EXACT THING: A bean burrito and a soft taco, both with sour cream.  That is what I wanted.  I was okay with them.  I ate them once... liked them both... and decided I didn't need to try anything else.  This absolutely horrified and crawled underneath the skin of one of my absolute greatest friends in the universe- Jessica.  She tried something new EVERY TIME she entered that place... even if it was just the sauces or meat.  She always did.  Never failed.  Ever.  I remember once, (we were about 15-ish) we went to Taco Bell, and I ordered my only meal of choice.  She ordered the newest thing- the double decker.  She talked for about 10 minutes on how bored my stomach must be with the foods I eat. (This was the girl who later grew up to bring a plate of squid to a church pic-nic.  lol)  She pretty much forced me to try her taco.  I did.  It was good. Then the inspiring Jessica (which she is still today... in much bigger things) spilled off something like- "Kristi, you've just got to try different things.  Life has so many choices..." 
It's simple, yes, I know, but remember this story when you wake up every morning thinking the same negative thoughts.  Think of the meaning behind it when you go to bed each night feeling like you'll never meet your goals.  As funny as it is, remember Taco Bell.
My life's menu has not changed-  I've just finally started looking at it.  Now, I love trying new things, even if they're sort of scary.  I think,  "When God leads you to the edge of a cliff, trust Him fully and let go.  Only one of two things will happen.  He will either catch when you fall, or teach you how to fly!"  You're gonna be okay either way!  Try!  Reach for that thing you've wanted to but have put off for other people's silly reasons- or your own needless fears.  You'll never know what great things can happen if you don't!


Me? -- well, my husband and I- have serious hopes in reaching our goals.  We're going back to school! We have finally pushed past fears, doubts, and disappointed looks- and we're full of zeal and excitement again! 


Oh, and btw-  The cheesy potato burrito, with chicken instead of beef, is amazing.
Try it.